Well Done.

"Greater is he that is in me, than he that is in the world"

My mistakes have not made me better yet they mold me into a magnate. Humbly reflecting in my life brings wisdom and understanding. In a world where we'd rather hear "o well" I seek to hear "well done." Not from the mouth of men, but from the Almighty. In a time where the Lord's name is called more in vain than in church, where black on black allegiance and hatred can be spoken in the same breath. Where the world can cheer for Gabby but can't come together for cancer. Where teenagers are looking for love and love turn into children then children turn into parents. This is a time when you can march for Trayvon Martin and gossip about the killings in our own backyard. "Times have changed.

What's your purpose?

What's your legacy? How would you want to be remembered? Are you content? Let me ask this "what would your eulogy really say?" This is a honest question. One morning someone will be talking over you and life as you known it will be over. Will the memory of you be buried along with your body? On the other side will you hear "well done?" Does it even matter? Y.O.L.O. right? At the end of the day it's the money right? The cars and the clothes? You've got to have fun right? I've watched so many people play God like it's Holloween. Not just with just the violence, but the mindset. People post social media writing statuses looking for praise, asking for followers. They claiming to be a king/queen wanting to be worshiped. That's the life that we live in. We accept it and live with it.

Life

Now most people's impulses are to turn to alcohol, drugs, sex, and clubs to cope. Accepting and challenging your problems have become too much. Lives are being taken and drastically altered for the simplest of altercations. Most of us are more concerned with the public eye than in house stability. Bills are being pushed back as Jordans are pushed out. More concerns are being made on kids clothing than on the nourishment of their bodies. The village is gone, big mamma is 36 and technology has created a lazy lifestyle. Gotta love it. We are in a culture where mothers will buy their daughter's dresses that's shorter than they time spend with them. Our future is bleak and it's hard to imagine from its already dim existence.

"O Well" "Well Done"

Our lives has been impactfully at an impasse where we will vote for a leader just because he is black and kill a man for wearing red. Yes our bodies are far from slaves but our minds are still trapped. There's no question to how we got here, the new question is where are we headed. It's not a new direction but a new course of action. The only way to turn "O well" into "well done" is to show actual concern. Not for the gossip but for the tribulation of a person. At any given moment you could be in a position to impact someone, when you do will it be "O well"or will you hear "well done"...

See No... Speak No.

To whom this may concern

This blog will actually contain a lot of personal truth. How I feel, things i've encountered. What lead me to becoming the person, friend, and father I am now. This blog was actually inspired in church Sunday. I left my son with my wife while I went in the back to change my daughter. He yelled across the church "daddy" and came running down the aisle. Two days later while I was at work, my wife called saying my daughter didn't feel well and was calling for me. Small instances like this weighs on a fathers mind heavily.

Past Presently

I have not one memory of calling my father and him being around to answer. I've seen him four times in my life but I would never call him a dead beat because to this day I can always call him for advice. I had 2 kids before my marriage which makes 3 total. I have three totally different relationships stemming from the the different circumstances that's involved. I love my kids equally even though the time with each shows differently. Just as my youngest two were able to call on me, my oldest is not in a situation to do so. This is about to explain to you not what every father feels but where they can relate.

Missed Intentions.

February 7, 2006 three days before my birthday I received a called from I-95 letting me know that my daughter was being moved to New York. I remembered it like it was yesterday. Many nights it was just me and my tears. Then that was my only child, my baby, my heart. Just imagine your worst cased scenario and multiply by ten. That's how I felt. The next thing I saw from my daughter was of course child support papers. I can honesty admit I missed everything with my oldest. No first words, no first day of school and etc. That left a burning motivation in me that can never be ousted.

Deja Vu

October of 2010 there was a knock at the door at which was then my girlfriend house. It was the police serving me another notice of another child support date. This time it was for my son. Mother of this child filed court papers, changed her number, and like my daughter I was unable to see my child. Two weeks after I had gotten married I was in court. I wouldn't say these was spiteful acts but at the same time took away opportune bonding time. Not one day goes by where my kids are not amongst my thought process, but from the outside in it wouldn't seen that way.

Today

Little less than 9 months ago my wife and I was blessed with a little girl. To most she seem to be my favorite but she's the most consistent. She's there, available as I would want my other two. Being a father is impossible without the opportunity to do so. Time is precious, money can be replaced. I remember what I missed so much with my other two so I embrace so much with my youngest. I hold her tight because I know how easily it can be taken away from me. I just have to remember time was the thing that was taken, the label "Father" is still there. Just make the best of the opportunities given.

Acknowledging Bartimaeus

And Jesus said unto him, Receive thy sight: thy faith hath saved thee.
Luke 18:42 KJV

This is truly one of my favorite verses stemming from one of the my favorite stories in the Bible. Reading this last night I was genuinely inspired, I was moved physically and spiritually. I found a new prospective, truly another point of direction. Life is broken down into 3 phases, chance, choices and faith. I really want to break this down for you and show you what I saw in this verse. Bare with me as I take you into my vision. This will be truly the sight unseen.

Everyone knows the story of how Jesus gave sight to (Bartimaeus) the blind man. The most logical interpretation to gather is that when you turn unto the Lord he will give you sight. Which in my humble opinion is true. We are all blind, in darkness until we turn to Christ in which we are given life and is restored. In John 8:12 Jesus himself says I am the light of the world. Nobody looks at the forthcoming of Bartimaeus. In that short period of time he showed you his humbleness, persistence, and his faith. Last night I took the prospective of the blind man.

In the story (Luke 18:35-43) Bartimaeus hollered Jesus name and was rebuked by some of the followers. He was told to hold his peace. So he hollered louder for Christ and was recognized... That spoke so much to me. This blind man in the presence on Jesus, defied what is accustom. He didn't watch his blessing pass by, he spoke up. To me, this is how society is. What is not ordinary is disapproved of which makes people afraid to step out on a limb. So many of us will watch our blessing walk by right in front of us because we are afraid to do what is not normal. Even if we tried once and is rejected we will shut it down completely. Are you traveling against the grain or are you only willing to smooth sail?

I said that to say this, people will not always understand your effort. Some will not understand what is your cause, your passion, or your willingness to do what you're doing. Like Bartimaeus, you don't know what i'm hollering for. You're not trying receive what i'm trying to receive. You have to suffered what i've suffered, cry for what i've cried for, and fall where I've failed to understand what i'm trying to accomplish. Trying receive sight, a range of vision, trying to receive a blessing. On that day he receive brand new eyes because of his persistence. It was his perseverance and his humbleness that helped him receive what he sought after. Knowing what he wants and going after it. Are you willing?

Antagonism

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” ― Martin Luther King Jr

This is a very powerful statement. To me haters fall into one of two categories. Either they love to hate or hate to love. I would be lying if I said I wasn't naive to the thought of hatred. I felt like hate, hatred and especially the term hater was greatly embellish. Some more than others will use those terms to basically empower themselves, a motivational tool if you will. Some will use it to give themselves relevance or a sense of purpose. I (in my opinion) felt like people use the word hate just to justify an action they couldn't understand.

I've still haven't brought into it whole heartedly, but my eyes are slowly but surely being open. It's not the hate but the misunderstanding. Appreciation and gratitude has really been undermine by misguided thoughts and emotions. I've seen this first hand as many of you. When someone announces their new christianity people look for the backsliding. In a world where your short coming will always outweigh ANY good you've done. Don't believe me?

What's the first thing to your mind when you hear the names Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston? People have gotten a fear of putting anything positive out there from the fear of carrying it. Jesus carried his cross and was stone before he was crucified. These days that's how carrying the truth is. Being positive is actually a burden, almost is as delicate as walking on egg shells. At any moment notice all your hard work could come to an end. The sad thing about it, if I came crashing down today and wrote about it that would probably be my best blog.

Do you want motivation or do you want deceit? Long jeopardy or short comings? Additions or adultery? You want missions or missing? Kings or traitors? Inspiration or Assassination? Facts or fiction? The answer to those questions will truly determined do you want love or hate. Identify the source of the hate and find out how to love. I've always said hate (ing) was a personal problem. It's a personal decision. Now can you get over your personal pride not to?

Afraid are you?

Time and memories

I remember as a kid I got up one Sunday morning, put on my Sundays best and proceeded to walk to church. Church was maybe a two miles walk plus the heat and penny loafers wasn't making it a pleasant trip. I was determined to make it to St. Stephen Baptist Church on that faithful day. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was within 500 feet of the church. I could hear the singing and praising on the outside. Then got this o so familiar feeling over my entire body. Fear.

Settling Fear

Fear is a very common feeling that we all encounter. Few will ever admit, but I will today. That day I was afraid. Not of what you may think. Every man supposed to have the fear of God in them, but on that day I was afraid of men. I was afraid of words, I was afraid eyes, I was afraid of thoughts. Even in the house of the Lord I was afraid of the people. Fear had actually settled in me and caused a negative reaction. That day I didn't go to church.

Effects of Fear

I tell that story to acknowledge the power of fear. Fear can actually control your actions, your thoughts, and fear can actually control YOU. Put this in prospective... Two mile walk through extensive heat along my journey I ALLOWED fear to deprive me of my benefits. We will do this sometimes, then we will mask it with the word content. We will become content on our jobs, content in our relationships, plus content in our lifestyle because the fear of the unknown lays the risk too much to the reward.

If its not broke don't fix it

We've all heard this before. This is has to be the most contentious statement i've ever heard. This is the fear of positive because of the possibility of a negative result. This is a fearful mind frame that will actually cause you to put a glass ceiling in your own life. You will actually place things you are able to accomplish just beyond reach due to the fact you are afraid of your own success. Dreams remain dreams, thoughts never hit paper and actions are never taken.

Conquering Fear

The bar has been lowered. Today's American dream is to have a good job and make decent money. Which I don't agree with. My dream is for everyone to do what they love, what they're passionate about. Cast fear to the side and what others maybe perceive and dream BIG. Fear is self inflicted and is easily conquered when faced. Can you hear the members from the outside? Are you willing to walk on in.

The Hunter

Thanks for you support...

Lately I've been getting a lot of good feedback about my blogs. I would like to take this time before this one to let you know how much I appreciate you even taking your time out to even read them. You're greatly appreciated.

Back to business...

Lately I've been getting questions concerning why men chase women and to extend it, a certain type of woman. Don't get me wrong, i'm not an expert by any stretch of the imagination. This is strictly my opinion and my take on this situation. Do not go tell any man "well Alexander said" because I want to maintain my health. I just know that it was true for me and when I realized it I understood why I was doing it and grew from it. It help me learn lust from love to arrive at this point in my life.

Creatures of habit...

Seeing is believing, we see therefore it must be. Growing up, a man was actually judged on how "fine" his girl was. Objects of affection, refer to my blog "infidelity" which tells you how some are treated as objects. Its very true to a certain degree. But in this case women become more of collectors items. Turn on any song, music video, or TV show to prove this theory true. You will never see a girl in a music video cooking a meal or taking care of her kids. That's what should be promoted but is not.

All about the hunt...

A man always want what he can not have. You can quote me on this. When he can not have you that's when he want you the most. You are appealing to him, you arouse his interest. You are out of his reach therefore the hunt is on. Men are competitive by nature, always on a hunt for a challenge. Women present the greatest challenge of all because it presence the greatest reward.... "sex". That's the conquering of the territory, the planting of the flag, the crowning jewel. Sadly after the hunt is over, so is the interest... No fun playing a game that you know how it ends.

Wounded animals...

Any animal documentary on a predator will tell you that a hunter will almost always go for the wounded (easy target). The strong present too much of a challenge and will require too much time and effort so are usually passed on. The wounded varies from the simple minded, low self esteem, or as simple as one that they have already slept with before. Men have that... "if I've hit it once I can hit it again" mentality. Which is even more of a challenge if she has moved on. This sounds really childish but I promise you if you think back you can recall at least two or three you can identify to this. I'm just being honest.

This might be harsh...

But it is the truth... The way I broke the cycle is realizing... It's just sex! (I have another saying but will not use that kind of language in my blogs). But that's it. "just sex" at the end of the day you have not achieve anything that will actually greatly increase the standard of living in your life. You've actually lost way more than you gained. It may be fun but these days even fun has a price tag on it. Just like anything with a price tag, sometimes it's just not worth it. Now I know the difference between love and lust. The feeling between the two people is actually what makes the sex and not the sex itself..

New Face Of A Race

Man how the time have changed...

"Man" is the issue. The black man it is... I'm a firm believer in perception isn't reality, but in this case if the shoe fits, Well you know the rest. Providers and protectors are what we were meant for but fell to imprison and unreliable. Our reputation has been forever tarnish. We went from empowering to powerless, organizations to gangs, and the worst from the courtroom steps to in the courtroom itself. Think about it... When you hear bad neighborhood... What's the first thing you think? (black) club fight? (black) etc. etc.

Facts are facts...

2 years ago I worked for Manning Correction Institute... Where a head count was actually taken everyday and on any given day was 70 percent black. No matter the crime whether they deserve to be there or not... they reside there. This just one of 29 state prisons not including Federal prisons or County jails. In the United States 72 percent black kids grow up in a single parent household. 37 percent in South Carolina, 50 in Barnwell county where I reside. That prison number could have a lot to do with this...

Martin where have you gone?

Nowadays when you here "King" we think Lebron. Martin Luther King Jr has become an after thought... Well unless its February. The days of Martin, Malcolm, Stokely Carmichael and Thurgood Marshall are LONG gone. We place Jim Crow laws on ourselves, even Jesse Jackson called Obama a n&$#+ (What a role model). Many fought and died to give us the right... To kill ourselves (Don't think they had that in mind). Right now when you think of a black man you ask... "ever been to jail?" "How many kids?" "How many mothers?" "Do you drink or smoke?"... Right now a man is actually considered to be a "good" man if he has a job... Sad but true...

Coincidence?...

Black power movement hit its highest peak in the 60s, so did crack. The Civil Rights Act of 1964 came in, 1968 Martin Luther goes out. Here's more... The easiest war tactic is to divide and conquer. So how can you weaken a race at is strongest point... The civil rights movement is dated all the way up to 1975.... The same year child support was created. Which is only two years after abortions was legalized. Think about this... Child Support is suppose to offset the "absent" father.... But only seeks money in which they profit off of. Shouldn't they be able to court order time too?... There's no sheet you can fill out for time is it? That would actually help strengthen, that's not what the system is made for.

Thank God for the black woman...

With all the attention paid to the black male, the black woman has stepped into the forefront. The new face of the race. A new guidance, new direction, and most importantly a new empowerment. Our race is getting strong again. Under new management, the body was stronger than we thought and it all came from a rib. With the power to give life they have rebirth our race. Women went from Celie to CEOs, from the kitchen to college, from mother to daddy, and most importantly... from the back of the bus to the backbone of this black culture... I salute!

Infidelity

I'm here to make a difference...     

I'm new to blogging but definitely not new to stating my opinion. I want to shed light on a situation that has been gracefully pushed in the dark and intentionally ignored for obvious reasons. The matter that I am eluding to is cheating.            

As of 3 days ago... My wife left to fulfill her military duties in the Barbados (we should all be so lucky) but in the days leading up to it all I could hear from anyone was what (they) would do in my situation. This is which leads me to the subject at hand...     

Is cheating really that vital that every opportunity to do so has to be explored. Monogamy is almost a myth... A fairytale. Seems that these days only things people are interested in is... what they can get and what they can get away with. Since sex has become easier to get, stability is harder to sustain.

I have a solution...      

As of late (to be nice about the situation)... When it comes to relationships they're started to be treated more like a business than the union of two people that love each other. Possessions have become so much of an emphasis in relationship that the spouse themselves are being treated like the prize possession. Let me show you where i'm getting at...      

Prize possessions such as cars, jewelry, even houses in some cases no matter how much they may cost or are loved...  there is always another one. One you like, you know to have as an option. That's what we do with possessions, we have back-ups and in time prize possessions become old possessions... Then replaced...

Here's my solution...  

How about look at the situation differently. This is how I view mine... when I got married it made me complete, a whole. My half joined hers... i'm a part of her and she's a part of me so I treat her as I would treat myself. I put the shoe on the other foot first (how would I feel). The answer would be painfully obvious when you look through the other eyes. To back up my statement I refer to the Bible "treat others the way you would want to be treated"... Shouldn't it be especially true in the case of your spouse?....