Swing low sweet chariot and carry me home
This was it. Life as I know it has come to an end. What about my kids is what I thought. I gradually sunk towards the bottom as I took the last breath I would take on this side. This is the final stage. My pure tears mixed with muddy water from the lake as my wife and daughter watched helplessly. Curtains closed, end of the scene.
As beautiful as that may sound that is a very true statement. A few months ago I almost surrendered my life to Barnwell's very own Lake Brown. Life is fragile and we "Thank God for this day" as a formality, but on that Sunday I awoke and shed tears to that very assertion. The feeling of the earth under my feet was an orgasmic feeling. I always took life for granted, always planned for tomorrow. What if tomorrow never comes?
Life isn't for the taking
Funny because I'm in this lifetime commitment called marriage but life haven't committed time to me. In what I would consider strongly by today's standard material wise the best year of my life. My goal for this year was to provide for my family, period. Any needs would be met and provide for every desire. More things, more trips, more is better right. Wrong. More material meant more time which in return meant less of me. My intentions was always to relax but when? What if I didn't make it out of the lake? There would be plenty of material but no me.
No time like the present, after all.
I have a son and a daughter before my marriage they weigh heavy on my mind. My daughter I've seen 3 times in 7 seven years and my son, well his situation is different. My daughter is the typical "I'm hoping to get her for the summer" senario and my son is more attached to his mother due to my absence earlier on due to some disagreement and misbehavior. I'll never proclaim myself as the "Worlds Greatest Father" I'm a military spouse I wouldn't have time to. My time consist of being a full time father on time of deployments. I would say I would rather be a better father. I thought in time I would learn how or if it's possible. Time isn't always on our side is it?
But the time we do have is precious, the air your are breathing right now is sacred. Somebody somewhere just took there last breath. They will never see their love ones again. Tomorrow is not an option for them. There is no do over, no time for ask for or accepting of forgiveness. No more hearing or saying I love you. I almost had this feeling. I think about this every moment. I cherish everything I lay my eyes on. I don't appreciate my wife's smile, I embrace her presence. That was almost no more. Time isn't coming, it's winding down. Life is sweet, taste every drop. I no longer cherish time, I value moments. Moments are all I have until the next moment. That moment when my daughter is here with me forever, that moment when my son wants to leave with me more often, the moment when my tears dry from my face from those moments. Use your time wisely.
